The Lion, The Bitch, and the Queef an original story by FrozenPyro

The Prologue

Queefs were originally discovered by Queen Elizabeth III, as a way to play tennis and the kazoo at the same time

Once upon a time in a land far far away.....A
woman named Sarah Palin was being oppressed by the news crew for trying
to make her ****ry a better place.
So Sarah decided enough was enough.....she had to
fix her economically and female empowerment depraved ****ry from the
evil Fox Five news crew.

So she went to the pet cemetery where Steven Hawking was buried and was
able to bring him back to life with her last phoenix down, and together
they played cards and sang songs in the
shower, they were best friends...
so Sarah and Steven teamed up to create a time
machine so Sarah could go back in time to rewrite history so she could
win the election, in a simple 5 months it was finally done! They activated their time machine by getting
captain planets help to punch a hole in the BP oil line and siphoned the
oil out with their mouths, then carried it home to the magic baby
chicks powering the machine and fed them by mouth pure oil. Then Sarah went back in time to the best possible
place to gain power in the election, the original female empowerer
herself, Queefn Elizabeth III of Zimbabwe, (the inventor of the
queef). There, Elizabeth and Sarah spent many hours honing their bodily control.

.

So then Sarah took Elizabeth back in time with her
so that she can skank up Sarahs fathers pole, that way Sarah would be
born with the same ability! (meanwhile Steven Hawking was engaged
elsewhere in an epic rap battle with Einstein....and kicked…his arse
then Sarah was inveloped in light as her hips grew ten sizes that day
there was only one thing left to hone.....her own physical prowess and practice!
so after filling
17 of Hitlers gas chambers (originally apology chambers for Hitler to
apologize to Jews in peace) and 7 children later.....she was finally
ready.... They started with intense meditation: in order to
control airflow in the body, first one must become one with the inner
wind of the soul.
Second, they had to train their minds, Sarah spent
hours studying under Elizabeths wing about the human body and how it
worked when she learned something important....humans cant normally queef, their bodies don't
posess the right air pressure, but Elizardbreath was so skanky that
eventually her hips had become deformed from all the babies, and Sarah
realized she was now beyond the average mortal....she was a….....
goddess so then Sarah took Elizabeth back in time with her
so that she can skank up Sarahs fathers pole, that way Sarah would be
born with the same ability! (meanwhile Steven Hawking was engaged
elsewhere in an epic rap battle with Einstein....and kicked…his arse
then Sarah was inveloped in light as her hips grew ten sizes that day
there was only one thing left to hone.....her own physical prowess and practice!
so after filling
17 of hitlers gas chambers (originally apology chambers for Hitler to
apologize to Jews in peace) and 7 children later.....she was finally
ready....

she was finally
ready.... to save Christmas!!! So she flew with a great blast of queef and slayed
Rudolph, then her saggy extremities lit the way for Santa and
generations to come The End......or is it? ...............TO BE CONTINUED